Call it magic
by sundaeflower
Summary: Eleven pays Billy a visit. (Post-Season 3)


A quiet tap.

That was all it took to shake Billy out of his thoughts. He quickly wipes away the rest of the thick tears threatening to run down his face, but refuses to look up. It's probably his father wanting to check on him to sooth his conscience about whether Billy was dying up there in his room or not (_not on my watch, boy_).

_Tap. Tap._

This time it sounds louder and more urgent.

„What?", he asks with a flat voice to no one in particular. Silence. Then –

„Billy. Out here!"

He lazily turns his head and there she was, _El_, this strange girl who found a way into his heart. It terrifies him. Not sure how a little girl had succeeded in turning his life upside down. No pun intended.

She waves happily at him.

Billy nods his head and she uses her powers to slide open his window to climb inside. She got her powers back when she accidentally set herself on fire and her survival instinct kicked in. Seems like her magic doesn't want to be extinguished either. He doesn't know why she still waits for his permission, though, but she does. And he likes that. She respects him.

„I'm back."

She was all smiles and extended her arms to both sides to emphasize her words. He couldn't understand how a girl with such a dark past managed to be that _goddamn_ positive all the time. Not even he could do that. And he'd definitely not drawn the short straw of them both.

„Yeah, I can see that."

He rests his elbows on his knees, regarding her with a lopsided grin.

El carefully takes a few steps towards him, meanwhile looking as if she were walking on a tightrope and about to lose her balance. When she reaches him she qickly grabs his head with both of her little hands and gives him a peck on top before he can pull away.

She smiles shy and apologetically at him as she takes a seat next to him. Her hair is slightly longer than the last time he saw her. Almost reaching past her shoulders now, but still as bulky as ever.

A brief smile flickers over his features but it is gone before she has a chance to even squint at it. The minute she looks into his eyes she knows why. Hurt. There's still so much hurt. And self-hatred. It makes her shiver. And not from the cold wind outside.

„Max is downstairs. I wanted to talk. Alone." She hesitates for a moment. „Can we talk?" She cocks her head quizzically.

„Yes." The words are out of his mouth before his brain can catch up. Somehow she makes him say things he'd never say otherwise. Maybe that was another superpower of hers. Making people say what she wants to hear.

She simply bobs her head like this is the most easiest conversation she ever had. Except it isn't. She notices his tense shoulders and the way his bottom lip starts to quiver when he's positive she can't see it. She can feel her heart contract when she looks at him too long or when he won't look at her at all. Avoiding her.

„Do you mind if I use your mirror?"

„Go ahead."

„Cool."

She jumps from the bed, pulls a red lipstick out of her never-ending pant pockets (she's in to those baggy pants now) and traces it along the curves of her lips with the help of the mirror adorning his wall.

„Looking good?" She stretches her lips into something resembling a smile and looks at his reflection in the mirror, taking in the short twitch of muscle in his jaw.

„Fantastic."

She pops her lips once, admiring her work, then bouncing back into the room to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of him. Carrying the most carefree expression on her face he ever saw a kid wear.

„I saw Mike today. I missed him as soon as I left Hawkins last time. Do you know that bubbly, warm feeling in your tummy like something is about to explode? _'Boom'_?"

She flahes him a toothy grin, beaming.

„It's called love. Christ, does he still have that stick up his arse? He couldn't tell you? Man, what a sucker."

She laughs as if he said something funny.

„Sucker?" She cocks her head to the side.

„Yeah, like someone who is really dumb. A real shithead."

„Like a mouth breather?", she asks, hanging on his every word.

He can't help the smile that tries to curve his lips upwards. A new light appears in his eyes and he nervously turns his head away in an attempt to hide the full-grown grin that is about to erupt on his face.

„Don't hide. It's cute when you smile. Do it more."

She softly boxes his knee, a soft glint in her eyes that makes her look a lot older than she actually is.

He doesn't react.

She snaps her fingers in front of his face.

„Hey. I'm talking to you. Just a little smile? Please? Heelloo? Is it too much to ask? Seriously, you look great with – mpfh!"

She doesn't get to finish her sentence because Billy all of a sudden clamps a hand over her mouth, to muffle her ramblings, using his other to steady her head while he playfully lifts her off the floor and easily throws her on the bed. She squeals the entire time as if she gets abducted and even tries to bite his palm, making animal sounds. He grins.

After they're done play-fighting they lie sprawled next to each other on his bed. Both in stitches from their immature behavior, holding their sides.

„I feel like we know each other for much longer than just a few months."

He laughs in disbelief.

„Trust me. You don't want to know the real me."

„The real you?"

He shrugs. In an attempt to keep his hands busy he sits up and pulls out a cigarette, puts it in his mouth and attempts to light it, but he didn't plan on El. She makes a sudden move and plugs it out right under his nose to flick it on the floor and stomp on it with her boot. Determination set in her brown eyes.

„No", she says fiercely. A single word uttered with much more finality than you would expect from a fourteen year old girl.

It strikes a note within him, triggers some hidden part he kept secret from everybody except this one time when he called Steve out for it. It's like someone has turned a switch inside him. Changing him from the inside out. Similiar to what the mindflayer has done to him, only more human. He feels in control this time and that's the worst part about it. This whole time he was so used to being controlled that he registered far too late how much he could actually change.

Lightning-fast he gets up and corners her against the windowsill, towering over her with his full height. She shrinks in on herself and tries to hide her face from him, but he leans down, grabs her chin and roughly pulls it upwards.

His face is only inches away from hers and he relishes in the feeling of being the one in charge, the one who calls the shots. He never reacted well to little shits talking back to him. And he's not going to make excuses for El. She's not allowed to have that much power over him.

„No? You think you can fuckin' tell me what to do just because you got under my skin? You don't know _shit_, little girl", he snarls.

Confusion flickers in her eyes and mixes with some other emotion he can't quite identify in the hazy state his mind is in right now. There's no desire in him, no want, to understand her or even comfort her. He feels like a monster just thinking about it, but he decides to focus on his anger that's seethes inside his stomach like molten lava. It was always much easier to focus on irrational emotions based on misguided thoughts than to actually think about the consequences it would entail. Much, much easier.

It feels fuckin' good.

Then he picks up on the silence that'd followed his words and he looks at her just in time to see her furiously wipe away the tears spilling down her cheeks. Lowering his arm he just blinks stupidly at her, not knowing how to react, but still he backs up a little to leave her some space.

He knew first hand Max'd cried a lot when she was younger, the little crybaby. Never had herself in check, least of all around him. He fuckin' hated it. Why should he always be the one to dry her tears when couldn't even dry his own? _Fuck_.

Suddenly he feels horrible. He opens his mouth. Closes it. No words want to come past his lips. He begins to pace in front of her, now and then running his hands across his face and mumbling inaudible things to himself.

El watches him with bated breath, tears already beginning to dry on her face.

„Look… I'm sorry. Please don't cry, okay? Everything's going to be fine. Just don't expect me to be a saint, alright?"

She gives him a quick once-over.

„I thought we had a connection", she says in a small voice.

Billy snorts.

„Why the hell are you even hanging out with me? I'm a freaking _mess_. Fucked up. That's what I am. I… _I think it broke me_", he whispers, voice starting to crack. He chokes down a sob.

Her heart is sinking inside her chest with the look he's giving her right now. Like a lost puppy who's been repeatedly kicked now lying aching on the floor. Unshed tears are shimmering under the surface of his blue eyes. It's the most vulnerable she's ever seen him. Like an open wound.

Suddenly very self-concious he wraps his arms around himself and lets his head sink to his chest. She reaches out her hand to touch him, tears nearly starting to spill over again.

„No. _No_. You have power. You are _strong_. You _called_ to me. I saw everything you are made of. I saw the strength you inherent", she reminds him with a strained voice.

He stops his pacing and gives her a sideward glance. Something hard and unyielding has returned into his eyes.

„Do you still have nightmares about me?"

El regards him with a very precarious look. Silence following his words.

„Y-yes?" She bites her lip and looks away, sending him a scared look from under her lashes. Afraid she said something wrong. Afraid she hurt him. But friends don't lie and sometimes the truth hurts.

Billy runs a hand over his face. The disappointment rolls in waves off him. She can feel it.

„But you're not the nightmare, Billy. You just … happen to be in it. That's all. You're not _evil_. Do you hear me?", she asks him with a pleading look on her face, gently tugging on his sleeve. Begging him to believe her. „You saved me."

Hesitating at first, she then pulls him in a tight hug, nuzzling into his side. He's completely flabbergasted, but after a while he wraps his arms around her. Testing the feeling of holding something so fragile and precious like this little girl with her magic powers. Nobody held him in a long time. He's not convinced if it's supposed to feel that … good.

„You can be happy again."

And the worst thing is he truly starts to believe anything that comes out of her mouth.

Like he's under some sort of spell.

Just stark naked _magic_.


End file.
